Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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