Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
