The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
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