Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
how do flat chested girls get laid?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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