I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Randomize
