he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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