my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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