bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
