I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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