he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
