i permit you to call me
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
