I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
