i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Panties = found
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
