Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
