Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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