Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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