Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Pappa wants mamma naked
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
