I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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