do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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