wake up i wanna do it froggy style
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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