Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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