when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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