so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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