did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
