what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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