Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
