no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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