its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
