my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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