you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
