I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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