Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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