He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
