Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
