I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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