I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
this beer tastes like vomit already
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
