I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
