i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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