I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
