good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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