I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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