I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
