Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
