Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
