friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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