Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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