Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
