When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
