Sponge bath it is.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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