So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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