just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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