But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
