if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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