i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
