hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
