I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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