I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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