That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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