I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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