bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
