he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
