I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
