On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
