it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
